Cairn Rodrigues is a lapsed chef and a current writer of refreshingly delightful fantasy fiction. She has a passably good relationship with punctuation while maintaining the high standards and integrity of self-published authors the world over. With over 30k tweets to her credit, she can sum up even the most profound and convoluted thought into a mere 140 characters as if by magic. Cairn knows all the words to La Bamba and is very well educated in classic American porn. She enjoys glitzy fireworks displays, the iridescent feathers on common street pigeons and a really great Monte Cristo sandwi...