Edwards, Alan

Alan Edwards majored in English at the University of Florida for approximately four weeks, until the endless daily grind of non-stop investigations into whether every single mention of a long straight object was nothing more than a phallic symbol made him quickly realize that he would never make it through to actually get a less-than-useful English degree. He determinedly became a drunkard and dropout afterwards. Later, he learned the fine art of bookkeeping, decided he enjoyed it, and eventually went back to school, this time for an Accounting degree, which he was able to complete while worki...