Why Men Hurt Women and Other Reflections on Love, Violence and Masculinity

ISBN-13: 9781776147632 / Angielski / Miękka / 2022 / 288 str.

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Spis treści

• Foreword by Raewyn Connell
• Part 1: Love
• 1 Why do women love men?
• 2 One ear turned inward and the other outward
• 3 Love needs
• 4 We can change how we love, but not without changing how we fight
• 5 Love hunger shows itself in many acts, and violence may be one of them
• 6 Why there is no love in the Plan
• 7 I love you, but I wish to hurt you
• 8 To love is to receive and to give
• 9 Talking matters
• 10 Listening carefully is an articulate act of love in action
• 11 Must love hurt?
• 12 The world is not yet ready for loving black boys
• 13 Producing and embodying the loving images we want of ourselves
• 14 If women stopped caring for men
• Part 2: Violence
• 15 ‘I am more scared of them’
• 16 Men who speak with fists
• 17 Violence wears many faces
• 18 ‘Brothers, check yourselves!’
• 19 ‘I have never raped anyone’ is not an achievement
• 20 Why is there violence where we expect to find love?
• 21 Really nice guys
• 22 ‘There was nothing suspicious about him’
• 23 They don’t teach about sexual consent at university or at home
• 24 Jeanne and Emmanuel
• 25 Is the lesbian an alibi for an untenable model of masculinity?
• 26 Will we reduce rates of rape of women and children when we cannot face prison rape?
• Part 3: Masculinity
• 27 Trying to transform men is not a futile exercise, but it is slow and difficult work
• 28 A few key ideas to consider when thinking about men and changing masculinity
• 29 The politician told students you can’t ask for money from somebody who raped you
• 30 ‘Dad, look at me’
• 31 ‘I have never hit a woman’ gets you no loving man award
• 32 Before death, before conception, in the many in-between moments, then repeat
• 33 Baldwin was a full man
• 34 The masculinity of a man who is a boy
• 35 Mr President, end patriarchy?
• 36 When work gets in the way of emotional connections
• 37 Love cannot escape power
• 38 What’s up with all this attention given to boys?
• 39 The fact of lovelessness in why men hurt others
• 40 Inheriting and passing down a loving masculinity
• Acknowledgements
• Index