Acknowledgments Introduction 1. The Offer 2. Sports Day in China (Part I) 3. The Governor's Banquet 4. The Young Soldiers or the Freshman Army 5. The Joke's on Wu (Gusher) 6. Rush Hour, China Style 7. The Best Medicine 8. Starving in China? Get Real 9. The Junk Food Invasion 10. Things You Won't Find in China 11. Things You Will Find in China (Like It or Not) 12. Music to Their Ears (If Not Ours) 13. Cuowu: The Mistake 14. The Author Meets a Master, and Almost His Maker 15. The Christmas Crusaders 16. A Love Story 17. The New Year Explodes 18. Shanghai'd in Beijing 19. A Hainan Fish Tale 20. Dragon Festival Day 21. You Can Get There from Here (But Try Getting Back!) 22. The Chinese Information Defi cit Disorder 23. The Children, the Children 24. Thanksgiving in Purgatory 25. No Sex Please, We're Chinese 26. Rising Nationalism as the Olympic Buildup Continues 27. The Two-Star Two-Step 1 28. The Play's the Thing 29. Media Savvy 30. Mr. Wei and the Chinese Teamsters 31. The Author Breaks a Taboo 32. The Korean Connection 33. The Russian Connection 34. Sports Day in China (Part II): A Walk in the Park 35. The Guangzhou Shuffle 36. Harbin, Fall, 2006 37. Look Homeward, Angel Epilogue: Airports, Baggage, and People in High Places