Acknowledgments vi Foreword by Neil Skolnick 1 Introduction 9 1. Flying from Autumn to Spring 15 2. Not Just Another Husband 24 3. Elusive Encounters 37 4. Ripples of Loss 48 5. Where Did My Self-Esteem Go? 59 6. I Carry a Horror in My Heart 68 7. Dancing Interrupted 79 8. Minotaurs in the Labyrinth 88 9. Missteps of a Widow in the World of Singles 100 10. Playful Restorations 114 11. The Anniversary 124 12. A Colorful Carlos Day 135 Epilogue: One Year Later 145