Breaking Hearts: The Two Sides of Unrequited Love

ISBN-13: 9780898625431 / Angielski / Twarda / 1992 / 241 str.

Roy F. Baumeister; Sara R. Wotman

Opis

Throughout history, unrequited love has inspired ballads, arias, poetry, drama, and literature. Almost always, however, the tale of the "star-crossed lovers" has been told from the point of view of the heartbroken pursuer. This illuminating new work explores unrequited love from both sides--that of the aspiring and eventually brokenhearted lover, and more unusually, that of the beloved, unwilling rejector. Based on systematically collected first-person accounts, Breaking Hearts shows how radically different and often contradictory the two experiences actually are. Blending scientific research with vivid narrative, the book utilizes current psychological theories about relationships, interdependence, attachment, and communication to provide careful analysis of the sometimes amusing and often heartrending stories people tell about their love lives. The central focus is the subjective experience: what it feels like to love someone who does not love you in return, and what is it like to be pursued by someone whose attentions you wish to discourage. Demolishing past theories about human fulfillment coming from loving or being loved, this valuable counterweight to traditional studies explores the other, darker side of love to show that it is the mutuality of affection that is crucial to happiness.

Recenzje

Engagingly written, BREAKING HEARTS offers an insightful and broad-ranging theoretical analysis and a careful empirical documentation of the heart breakers and the heart broken....It captures the drama of breaking hearts without sacrificing the rigor of the scientific enterprise.''
--Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., University of Virginia

This book is a rich and enlightening account of the experience of unrequited love, and should be of interest not only to scientists who study close relationships, but also to the general public. --Caryl E. Rusbult, Ph.D., University of North Carolina

The topic of unrequited love is an intriguing one that has caused much interest lately since the film, Fatal Attraction, and the several cases of stalking that have received public attention. This book offers the first systematic attempt to uncover the patterns of unrequited love and it is a good example of what a psychological analysis of important social issues can contribute to their solution. --Steve Duck, Ph.D., University of Iowa

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Often I found myself swept along by the charming, fluid style in which the book is written....In short, the authors are highly successful in creating a book that will appeal to a wide audience....This book makes a significant contribution to the literature.

--Contemporary Psychology, 08/07/1994ƒƒ

For all who've ever loved and lost, and for all therapists who've worked with lovesick clients (or their fantasy objects).

--Behavioral Science Book Service, 08/07/1994

Spis treści

Contents: The Psychology of Heartbreak: An Introduction. Perspectives on Heartbreak. The Emotional Crossfire. The Ups and Downs of Self-Esteem. Guilt, Justification, Morality: Struggling with Right and Wrong. What Actually Happened? Lessons Learned and Mysteries Glimpsed. Conclusion: The Two Sides of Heartbreak.

O autorze

Roy F. Baumeister, PhD, is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Florida State University (Emeritus) and at the University of Queensland in Australia. One of social psychology's most highly cited researchers, Dr. Baumeister has been conducting research, teaching, and thinking about the human self since the 1970s. His work spans multiple topics, including self and identity, self-control, interpersonal rejection and the need to belong, sexuality and gender, violence and evil, self-esteem, self-presentation, emotion, decision making, consciousness and free will, and finding meaning in life. He has written approximately 700 professional publications as well as numerous books for professionals and the general public. Dr. Baumeister is a recipient of awards including the Distinguished Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Society for Self and Identity and the William James Fellow Award, the highest honor of the Association for Psychological Science.