Divorced Fathers and Their Families: Legal, Economic, and Emotional Dilemmas

ISBN-13: 9781461455349 / Angielski / Twarda / 2012 / 248 str.

Florence W Kaslow

Opis

This book focuses on the experience of father's lives after a divorce, and how mental health professionals can help them create a healthy transition.Through the use of case examples critical issues are highlighted and discussed with supportive empirical findings and clinical insights. Traditionally, the marital legal sessions as well as the ultimate marriage settlement focus on the issues confronted by the ex-wife and mother and on the custody and visitation plan for the children. This is actually supported by law in some places. This can remove the father fromimportant qualitative issuessuch as what it is like to have children in two households, relationships with two sets of grandparents, where holidays will be spent, fair rotations of responsibility and how continuing parental discord can be resolved. The issues examined in this volume are relevant to a range of professionals who deal with divorcing couples from psychologists and family therapists to legal advisors and judges. "

Recenzje

Endorsements:

"Dr. Kaslow tells the story of forgotten fathers who suffer not only from the distance divorce imposes from their children, but from society's lack of sympathy for their suffering. A wife and mother as well as a distinguished professional, she forcefully brings these long-ignored issues out of the shadows. A must read for all professionals working in the field of divorce as well as for grown children of divorce and their parents."
Carolyn Susman, health columnist, Palm Beach Daily News, Palm Beach, Florida

"This unique book by noted psychologist Florence Kaslow provides a cornucopia of information, ranging from historical factors in child custody decisions, to stages of the divorce process and tips on parenting coordination. Thirteen detailed case stories of divorcing dads obtained through questionnaire-based personal interviews provide a fascinating range of personal experiences that Dr. Kaslow analyzes to reveal common divorce problems. Other experts on divorce then describe how more positive outcomes might have occurred utilizing different services/interventions provided by well trained systemically-oriented professionals. This wide-ranging book is a valuable resource for therapists, mediators, lawyers, child custody evaluators, child advocates, and family court judges."
David Schnarch, Ph.D.
Director, Crucible Institute of Evergreen Colorado
International bestselling author of Passionate Marriage, Intimacy & Desire, and Constructing the Sexual Crucible.

"Divorced Fathers and Their Families offers a key message for all who care about the welfare of children: While it is inevitably true that some marriages fail and husbands and wives may choose to sever their own legal ties, forging strong bonds between children and both of their parents should always be the paramount goal of our divorce and custody laws, policies and practices. In the absence of abuse, abandonment or other extraordinary circumstances, ensuring that fathers continue to play a central role in their children's lives - as well as the children's mother - will only advance, not impair, the emotional stability and well-being of children of divorce. Dr. Kaslow has provided important insights and useful suggestions for how we may to continue to move toward this goal."
Marsha Levick, Juvenile Law Center, Philadelphia, PA

"A superb and long overdue book! Kaslow has succeeded in capturing the untold story of the essence of the pain, confusion, turbulence, and unhappiness of divorce as experienced by the Dedicated Dads who all too often are partially or totally cut out of their children's lives. A must read for everyone who is contemplating divorce, is divorced, is a child of divorce or a professional working in the field of divorce."
Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., bestselling author of Love in 90 Days, and of Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love.

"This book is an invaluable resource for clinicians, divorced dads and their families! Read 13 fascinating and enlightening stories about "good dads' who are often disempowered by the system in regard to their parental rights. The result is that the whole family suffers. Dr. Kaslow has a dazzling breadth of understanding of all facets of this phenomenon and speaks to what she calls "divorce with integrity," an approach that can provide a way toward less pain and a healthier outcome in the wrenching process of divorce. Whether you work with family members who are struggling with divorce or in the midst of the process in your own family, definitely get a copy of this invaluable book!"
Dr. Diana Kirschner

"Any reviewer of the extensive literature on divorce quickly would note that it consists mostly of the voices or concerns of the mothers of divorce, to the neglect of the voices and concerns of the children and fathers of divorce. A growing literature finally is beginning to emerge that gives voice to the children of divorce (Fabricius, Braver, Diaz, & Velez, 2010; Finley, 2006; Finley & Schwartz, 2010; Marquardt, 2005). Florence Kaslow's book Divorced Fathers and Their Families: Legal, Economic, and Emotional Dilemmas gives voice to the experiences and concerns of the fathers of divorce...
I highly recommend Divorced Fathers and Their Families to all who want to understand the lived experiences of the fathers of divorce and to those who more broadly seek family court reform. Two things set this book apart from earlier books on divorced fathers (e.g., Braver & O'Connell, 1998; Farrell, 2001). The first is the detailed individual case studies that give the reader an emotive as well as a cognitive understanding of the genuine pain and suffering experienced by these fathers. Such an understanding permits an empathetic appraisal of the lifelong consequences of divorce for fathers and their children and suggests how changes in family law and family court practice-such as equal shared parenting-can improve the life trajectories of all.
Second, for those seeking family court reforms, this book not only demonstrates the need for such reform but also provides blueprints and guidelines for what needs to be changed to accomplish it. Family law reform and family court reform ultimately were Kaslow's goals in writing this book, and she admirably accomplishes both with the empathetic case studies and her detailed recommendations for all parties involved in the divorce process."
Gordan E. Finley
September 11, 2013, Vol. 58, Release 37, Article 8
PsycCRITIQUES

Spis treści

Evolution of Thought about Custody Decisions: The Last 100 Years.- (Case 1) Dr. Blue Eyes: Dreams That Turned into Nightmares.- (Case 2) Mr. Bob Straight:  I Promised Myself I Would Be a Good Dad.- (Case 3) Dr. Jorge Perez:  Promises Made, Promises Kept, Until Forever Was Too Long.- (Case 4) Mr. Reuben Guy:  The Nastiness Never Stopped.- Case 5) Dr. Ron Dedicated: Why Can’t Judges be trained to “Do No Harm” and really be “Just”.- (Case 6) Mr. Bill Brogan: Feeling Trapped, Escaping and the Big Lie.- (Case 7) Mr. Terry Kelly: Saga of Betrayal and a Father’s Unwavering Devotion.- (Case 8) Mr. Gene Goodman: My Life Revolves Around My Kids Now.- (Case 9) Dr. Ari Regis: The Relentless Demands and Criticism Never Cease!.- (Case 10) Mr. Arturo Miguel: How the Courts’ Rigidity Deprives Dads and Their Kids of Each Other’s Companionship and Love.- (Case 11) Mr. Hy Hopes: The Fallout of “Crazy in Love”.- (Case 12) Dr. Zack Determined: It’s a Strange World After All.- (Case Unlucky 13): My Greatest Loss.- on Cases: How Outcomes Might Have Been Different if Other Services or Professionals Had Been Utilized.- Divorce Therapy, Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce.- A Different Lawyer: A Different Result.- Family Evaluation in Custody Litigation: Reducing Risks of Devastating Relationships.- Parenting Coordination.- The Role of the Child Advocate.- Why Can Some Individuals Share Their Children While Others Can’t, or Won’t? Is Personality a Major Key?.- Harken All Professionals Involved in the Tragedy of Divorce! The Urgency of Humanizing the Legal, Judicial, and Psychological Aspects of Divorce.- Appendix I – Questionnaire Administered to Divorced Dads.- Appendix II –Model of Stages in the Divorce Process.- Appendix III – Divorce Ceremony.

O autorze

Florence W. Kaslow, Ph.D., is an internationally known and respected teacher, clinical and family psychologist, supervisor, consultant, coach, therapist, guest lecturer, and workshop leader. A Ph.D. from Bryn Mawr College (1969), she is in practice as a psychologist, family business consultant, and coach in Palm Beach County [Gardens], Florida. She is President of Kaslow Associates, a coaching and consulting firm, and a Distinguished Visiting Professor of Psychology at Florida Institute of Technology in Melbourne. She was a lecturer, Department of Psychiatry of Harvard University Medical School in 1992, 1997, and 2005, an Adjunct Professor of Medical Psychology in Psychiatry at Duke University Medical Center from 1982 to 2004. From 2007-2010 she was a Clinical Professor, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Mercer University Medical School, Macon, Georgia.

Blurb

Divorced Fathers and Their Families
Legal, Economic, and Emotional Dilemmas
Florence Kaslow

Praise for Divorced Fathers and Their Families:
“Dr. Kaslow tells the story of forgotten fathers who suffer not only from the distance divorce imposes from their children, but from society’s lack of sympathy for their suffering.  A wife and mother as well as a distinguished professional, she forcefully brings these long-ignored issues out of the shadows. A must read for all professionals working in the field of divorce as well as for grown children of divorce and their parents.”
Carolyn Susman, health columnist, Palm Beach Daily News, Palm Beach, Florida

"This unique book by noted psychologist Florence Kaslow provides a cornucopia of information, ranging from historical factors in child custody decisions, to stages of the divorce process and tips on parenting coordination. Thirteen detailed case stories of divorcing dads obtained through questionnaire-based personal interviews provide a fascinating range of personal experiences that Dr. Kaslow analyzes to reveal common divorce problems. Other experts on divorce then describe how more positive outcomes might have occurred utilizing different services/interventions provided by well trained systemically-oriented professionals. This wide-ranging book is a valuable resource for therapists, mediators, lawyers, child custody evaluators, child advocates, and family court judges."
David Schnarch, Ph.D.
Director, Crucible Institute of Evergreen Colorado
International bestselling author of Passionate Marriage, Intimacy & Desire, and Constructing the Sexual Crucible. 

Divorced Fathers and Their Families presents a needed corrective to this knowledge gap without trivializing the problems and needs of divorced mothers and children or downplaying the realities of divorce. In much of the book, divorced men's narratives reveal their roles in their children's lives, the emotional turmoil when those roles are disrupted, and their frustrations when the legal system assumes the worst about them. Other chapters provide systemic and personality perspectives on divorce and custody issues, a guide to emerging trends in divorce services, and strategies for making divorce less toxic for all. 

• The evolution of divorce and custody decisions over the last century.
• Representative case stories from divorced fathers, in their own words.
• Overview of current divorce services and professionals: child advocates, mediation, family evaluation, and more.
• "What-if" scenarios suggesting how the case examples might have turned out with alternate interventions.
• Real-world advice for humanizing the divorce process--even years after the fact.
• Useful appendices, including a divorced fathers questionnaire, a model of stages in the divorce process, and guidelines for a divorce ceremony.

At a time when half of marriages are breaking up, Divorced Fathers and Their Families offers family therapists and clinical psychologists insights into relationships they may have overlooked--and clients they may be underestimating.