I wish I could say that none of this really happened. But it did. Every single damn day of it. I've been locked in a Singles' Hell since April, 2006 and the accomodations are the absolute worst that you can imagine. My cell mates have been some of the most horrific people masquerading as princes. It's a battlefield where WWF wrestlers prance around in hairpieces and medical doctors disguise themselves as celebrity look-a-likes through online dating. So you think you want to be single? You think you're missing an exciting life filled with dashing, romantic dates and crazy, sex-filled vacations...