Alex wanted me to see what was happening, wanted me to understand - but he wasn't there to show me. All I could do was wander aimlessly, picking up the pieces, hoping they would somehow fit. There was the shack just off the freeway where Alex lived and worked. There was Deana, his strong and enigmatic young girlfriend. There was Jerry, a pathetic little man with a comb-over, who thought he could run everything. There were drugs and sex and violence, and I sampled all of it. The only thing missing was Alex. I would never know what any of it meant until I knew what it meant to him.